Freedom Friday: 20 Years of Torture & Unnecessary Shame

img_20160930_144721You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex. Your workmanship is marvelous.”-Psalm 139:13,14 NLT

I will admit that this has been one of the hardest scriptures for me to believe in the bible. It has been very difficult for me to say, “Thank you for my body.” This is due to all of its deformities. I have a severely clubbed right foot that makes my right leg and foot significantly smaller than the left side. I was born with a dislocated hip, congenital scoliosis, and missing chest bone. I will admit that after my hair and face, in my most jaded opinion, my body goes downhill.

To add to the disfigurement, I am also left with scars on my foot, leg, and back as doctors made attempts to correct the way I was “knitted together in my mother’s womb.” It has been very difficult for me to believe that a God who carefully created creation seemed to have missed a few steps while creating me. Of my mother’s four children, I seemed to carry the physical deformities for everyone. No one else was born with a physical deformity. For years I never questioned it, but I would be lying if I said at one point or another that I did not find myself envious of their “normal” bodies and disgusted by mine.

At 12 years old, I pronounced a life sentence of shame and hiding upon myself. I stopped wearing clothes that would reveal what I hated most about me. I stopped wearing sandals because I no longer felt like explaining my condition to people. I did not want pity or sympathy. I just wanted to be normal. So I became a hider, and into my closet I went hoping to never have to face these legs of mine again. If I hid them, they would eventually go away. Now that I am 31 years old, I can say that was the dumbest idea ever in the history of Charity’s dumb ideas. I literally signed my life away when I decided to start hiding my legs. I stopped swimming. I did not try out for any dance or cheer team because it meant I would have to show my legs. I almost quit softball one year because I thought they were going to make me wear shorts. I removed myself from any activity that required your legs or feet to be seen.

As God would have it, the one activity I could continue was dancing. Our liturgical attire was always long and covered! The only thing that gave me assurance that God meant to put me in this body is that even with my deformities, I am still able to dance. Some of my moves are limited, but I am able to dance unto His glory. He gave me a voice, and I use it for his glory. He has given me the gift of counsel, wisdom, and writing. I use them all  for his Glory. The interesting thing is nothing about my physical deformities have stopped the gifts of God from operating through me. The only thing that has hindered those things at any time have been my mind. I have allowed the “what ifs” to keep me from doing. What if my legs become a meme? What if the men who follow me find out and unsubscribe? What if people start treating me with pity because they discover the truth? I never considered what if I share my story and help others overcome their own insecurities? What if my process of freedom convinces others to find freedom? What if God placed me on this earth as an example that the package is only limited by the mind not by its deformities or flaws? For 20 year I have allowed something that I had absolutely no control over ruin and rule my life. I was completely convinced that because I was born this way I was undeserving of love, friendship, and fulfilling my dreams. That was all a lie.

For years I was afraid of  photo tag notifications. I just knew that someone from elementary school would post a picture that would expose the secret I was hiding, and I would lose everyone once they found out the truth. None of my friends from junior high up until now have been privy of this information, minus those who knew before I started hiding and those who were at Oral Roberts University my Freshmen year. I was just too afraid of rejection, and the enemy had my mind convinced that if people knew the truth about me they would not want me around. However, now that I understand my purpose I must take that risk. God cannot get all the glory that is due Him if I remain in hiding.

The photo being used for this blog was taken on my birthday, July 25th, as I declared the 31st year of my life to be my year of freedom. I asked my sister to capture it because I wanted to see what freedom looked like. It has been twenty years since I have seen myself photographed in a dress and sandals. I had every intention of posting this pic that day but fear convinced me to wait. Well i’m tired of fear and shame ruling my life, and I did not consult them this time. I am tired of preaching freedom and living enslaved to thoughts of fear, rejection, and shame. I am tired of worrying myself with how people will respond to something beyond my control. I am tired of being hot during the summer LOL, and today is the day I free me for good. Even with what is deformed, disfigured, and ugly about me, I am still His workmanship. I am finally choosing freedom over fear, and that my friends is a marvelous thing!-Charity Israel

Dear Christian: Listener Beware of Periscope Preaching

pulpit-preacherJesus Christ  the same yesterday, today, and forever. So do not be distracted by strange, new ideas. Your strength comes from God’s grace, not rules about food which, do no help those who follow them.-Hebrews 13:8,9

Let me start this post off by saying, “I come in peace, love, and hair grease!” This blog is in no way taking a shot at anyone who claims to be an apostle, prophet, evangelist, pastor, and teacher. However, I do write this as a warning and encouragement to those who are in these positions and to those who aspire to be in them.

In a world that is fixed on finding the new trend, new face, new word, and etc. we as ministers must be careful not to follow behind them. We cannot allow our desires to be trendy, relevant, or popular to take us away from the never changing Truth of the Gospel. Here are some things we should be checking before we choose to subscribe to a Periscope Preacher or become one:

  1. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. His story does not change and the way he becomes our Lord does not change. If someone is presenting another Jesus other than the one our Bible teaches UNSUBSCRIBE. If someone is suggesting that you should do more than Romans 10:9 to be saved you should UNSUBSCRIBE.
  2. Do not be attracted by strange, new ideas. If your new revelation cannot be supported by anything found in Genesis through Revelation, please discard of it. We do NOT need it in the body of Christ! Everything we teach or preach must have its’ roots deeply embedded in the word of God. The bible is complete and your ideas outside of it are not helpful to the Body of Christ. To those listening, if there is never a Bible verse mentioned from the mouth of the man or woman of God you are listening to UNSUBSCRIBE. If you find their message more appealing to your pride, vanity, and temporal things that don’t encourage you in your walk with God, UNSUBSCRIBE. There are a lot of people using Jesus as their get rich or popular real quick scheme. Please do NOT assist them in their madness.
  3. Your strength comes from God’s grace, not from rules about food, which do NOT help those who follow them. As a Christian if you are unfamiliar with the concept of God’s Grace I would encourage you to get to know what it entails. It is a beautiful gift from God that saves us from sin and enables us to refrain from sin. The grace of God is what gives us strength to live righteously. If a person is suggesting that you have to do anything more than live in the grace that God has provided UNSUBSCRIBE. Ephesians 2:8,9 reveals it is grace alone that saves us, and there is nothing we can do besides having faith in God to keeps us saved. “God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.” If a person is suggesting anything differently, UNSUBSCRIBE. Our salvation, our righteousness, our sanctification, EVERYTHING comes from God and do not allow anyone to have you thinking it’s all done by your strength. Our boast should be in the Lord and not in us.

I hope this blog was received in the love that it was written. Social Media is a great platform to get the Gospel of Jesus Christ out. However we must make sure that our messages always line up with the word of God. It is not just the litmus test for life, but it should be the way we filter through messages that will honor Him, ourselves, or some false teaching. I hope this will help you filter through what is worthy of your time and attention. Have a Marvelous Monday and thanks for reading!-Charity Israel

 

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