The reality of my life right now, maybe you can relate???-Journal Entry June 18, 2007

Reality Check

Lately life has been totally out of control. It seems like every time I get a hold on life, something heavier falls on top of everything I was holding.  It seems like the more I pray the worse things get, but God’s presence has, is, and will always be my only way of escape.  The fog is definitely thick right now and the only assurance I have is His faithfulness to deliver my family, my friends, and myself out of all things. This time in my life has and is teaching me a few things:

  1. I must trust that God is going to complete the work He has started in my life.
  2. I can no longer apologize or make excuses for who I am in Him, either I serve Him with all of me or none of me.
  3. If people can’t get with who I am and what I represent, then they can keep moving!

For the longest I have put other’s opinion of who I am, how I should live, and what I should do above my own. I have neglected and at times been ashamed to speak about the one thing I know that is real, GOD. This life of mediocrity isn’t for me. I have been living beneath my potential and my purpose on account of others.  I am tired of asking God to help me in areas of my life that discipline itself could fix. I am tired of asking and expecting so much from God, when I give so little of myself. I am tired of being complacent in my relationship with Him. I say He’s my everything, and it is about time I start living a life that reflects that(totally dude)! This summer has definitely been a hard pill to swallow, but I know that it is confirming, correcting, reconstructing, renewing, purifying, and creating me into the woman of God I was created to be.  This is the reality of my life…either I live for Him (in his presence daily) or die(away from His presence). What about you???

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